Spring Joy

My shame and guilt are gone. I feel so happy about my new hair color. At first, it looked pretty gross. I wore a brown bag over my head for a few days. Now, I’ve removed the bag. I’m ready to go tripping down the street and pick some flowers for my small patch of garden space.

Usually, I wait until Mother’s Day. That’s not good because all of the healthy annuals have been sold, and I get the leftovers. It seems like Mother’s Day is earlier than ever this year. It’s been a number of years since my mother and my mother-in-law passed away. Time doesn’t take away their memory. Whether it’s Mother’s Day or not Mother’s Day memories come to me and make me feel good all over. Thank God for the special people who served in this role and continue to give of their time at this very moment. Thank God.

I am reminded of Harriet Tubman. I know, she’s long gone. She left such a huge mark on History that it’s impossible not to remember how she sacrificed her life in order to save the lives of other people. I’m pretty sure she had children. I don’t remember how many children. Am I wrong? If you know the answer, please let me know in the comments.

I am so thankful Harriet Tubman is going to appear on our Twenty dollar bills. I would never have thought to see this day. She deserves this place. I believe the angels in Heaven are clapping and smiling. Happy.

 

 

 

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Who Am I?

Write about me? There is not much to tell. I am no one. I relate myself to Emily Dickinson’s narrator. “I’m Nobody! Who are you?” Don’t misunderstand. Living as a nobody, a person who has failed at life, is not a cop out. It’s the truth. A truth which can not remain unseen or unheard. It’s on you like a giraffe wears his spots or an armadillo wears their armor. Only my armor is not always protective.

Still, I am going to wander out of my true surroundings to find another self. This does not mean I won’t have to hide again at my old home place. I can only speak for today, this moment as far as my identity is concerned. So, my quest, my purpose is about finding a me to hold on to a me who has succeeded at one or two things in this life. Is that vanity? Is that pride?

Perhaps, I don’t care. For once, it is truth. Pilate asked ” what is truth?” Such a silly question to ask. He knew the answer to his question. He just did not want to look at truth. He was tracking an innocent man. With his clever answer, he was trying to hide shame and guilt. I can understand. Shame and guilt are brutal enemies. So harsh, I will pretend not to know the meanings of these words. I will pretend not to have experienced this and that.